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The Broken Bless
Over the past seven years I have found myself bruised, broken, torn, bewildered, lonely, facing no answer to medical concerns, blanketed with the weight of depression, laying in a hospital bed undergoing back surgery in a foreign country, bombarded with panic attacks, gaining weight despite a healthful diet plan and 2 hour work-outs at the gym, getting the news that my mother had a heart attack and I was too far away to hold her hand or be present by her hospital bed, hearing the news that my son would not be released from prison- yet again, watching my husband bear the load of watching me have seizures on…
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Living Fully Present
Over the past few months I have been in transition. A bit of culture shock as I have left my home in the Philippines and have re-entered my passport country, the United States; for a much-needed sabbatical. I have never been very good at transitions. For some reason, even if I know they are coming and I think I have prepared for them, I still struggle. This transition has been no different. Transitions cause me a great deal of personal, inner reflection as I assess what I am leaving behind and begin to anticipate what I am yet to embrace or going towards. For several weeks now, I have…
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The Fear Of Imperfection
My mind’s eye can see what I want. My heart knows what will make something look picture-perfect. Is this perfectionism or striving towards excellence? Separating perfectionism from excellence: Lately I have been seeking the answer to this question: “What is the difference between perfectionism, or striving towards excellence in my work?” As I have churned this question over in my mind, like shells tumbling in the rolling tide, I have begun to see a clarifying difference that separates these two thoughts. As I took a discovering look at myself, I realized, that there are times that the motive for my work stems from a deep-rooted need to gain value, acceptance…
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“Who do you say that I am?”
“Who do you say that I am?” “Then He asked them, “But who do you say I am?” Simon Peter answered, “You are the Messiah, the Son of the living God.” (Matthew 16:15-16 NLT) Who do you say that I am? As I write this simple question, my heart seems to have stopped. Tears threaten to crumble the dam, that I mindfully erected, long ago. A protective dam – one that holds all my sorrows, my unmet- unvoiced longings, my fierce disappointments and my unanswered prayers are all kept at bay from connecting with my one-true heart. But today, I am faced with this one question, and this dam of…
