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The Fear Of Imperfection
My mind’s eye can see what I want. My heart knows what will make something look picture-perfect. Is this perfectionism or striving towards excellence? Separating perfectionism from excellence: Lately I have been seeking the answer to this question: “What is the difference between perfectionism, or striving towards excellence in my work?” As I have churned this question over in my mind, like shells tumbling in the rolling tide, I have begun to see a clarifying difference that separates these two thoughts. As I took a discovering look at myself, I realized, that there are times that the motive for my work stems from a deep-rooted need to gain value, acceptance…
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Day of Victory!
How is it, that I can wake up on Valentines Day and feel like all the love is slowly being squeezed right out of me? Thirty-seven consecutive Valentines Days shared with my husband Joel, and here I was entering this one with a melancholy attitude I couldn’t identify. I should have prepared myself for the unexpected low, as I had just said hard good-byes to my brother and sister who were visiting here in the Philippines. While my brother was doing ministry work in the Province, I enjoyed two remarkable weeks together with my eldest sister. Each day was hinged with laughter, reminiscent memories of experiences from days gone by,…
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Textile, color and design breeds creativity
The Colliding of Passion: There is something that draws me towards textile, color and design. This combination stirs me deeply, allowing passion to collide with soulfulness and ultimately, igniting creativity. A weekend trip into the mountains of Baguio, Philippines refreshed me, not only with cool, clean air; but all things uniquely designed. I delighted in the view of rainbow painted houses, precariously perched on tiered mountain sides. My eyes took in jars and jars of freshly made strawberry jam with the sun igniting their ruby brightness. An endless array of handwoven head scarves, tapestry bags, knitted caps and colorful straw brooms; each, a harmony of color spilling over into a…
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“Who do you say that I am?”
“Who do you say that I am?” “Then He asked them, “But who do you say I am?” Simon Peter answered, “You are the Messiah, the Son of the living God.” (Matthew 16:15-16 NLT) Who do you say that I am? As I write this simple question, my heart seems to have stopped. Tears threaten to crumble the dam, that I mindfully erected, long ago. A protective dam – one that holds all my sorrows, my unmet- unvoiced longings, my fierce disappointments and my unanswered prayers are all kept at bay from connecting with my one-true heart. But today, I am faced with this one question, and this dam of…
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Fake, Fraud or Real: Personal Mask Assessment
Hidden Identity: During my elementary years my mother and I would often take trips to our local Salvation Army. It was always a highlight for me to get away from our country home and spend the day in our small city; as bargain hunting at a thrift store was one of my favorite activities. I loved to leisurely browse the racks for a new outfit, a great book title, a fun handbag or a new-to-me pair of shoes. Until one day, as I was engrossed in looking through the over stocked isles of used clothing, shoes and books; my eyes spotted another classmate. As our eyes locked, I was…
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Learning to Live Out of Our True Selves
As I step softly into this new year many questions have already begun to occupy my mind. What keeps me from living freely out of my unique, God-created design? What paralyzes me from living out of my true, authentic self? What has me repeatedly running to others to earn validation, applause and approval? “The greatest battle we face as human beings is the battle to protect our true selves from the self the world wants us to become.” E.E. Cummings Living Out of Our True Self: The true self are those parts of you that are authentic, and flow from living out of the true identify you have…
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Glory Came Down and Dwelt Among Us
As a child I loved tinsel. Today it is nearly impossible to find a box of the ornamental silvery strands. In fact, just mentioning tinsel dates me. At Christmas time tinsel lined the shelves of the local five and dime stores, right in there with the large colored electric bulbs and the delicate glass-blown ornaments. I remember feeling horrified when I saw someone throw handfuls of tinsel at their tree, leaving large clumps, hither and yon. I guess to me there was something ceremonially reminiscent of the time of year, as we thoughtfully placed each strand of tinsel on the perfect bough. Each thin strand of metallic garland shimmered under…
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Fear of Authenticity: Listening to Wrong Messages
When we are afraid of being seen for who we really are, we create appealing façades to hide our true-selves. We learn to promote someone who is likeable, agreeable, valuable and desirable. And we cover over areas we consider to be flawed, blemished or that may be rejected. In this process of masking we learn to deny God’s standard to live freely out of who He created us to be and we appease the standards that we think others are setting before us; leaving us vulnerable to the enemy’s attack. We often deny our true ideas or opinions We hide our real feelings and emotions for fear that we will…
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Knowing God is Enough In The Hard Places of Life
God is Enough During a recent visit to Hong Kong my husband Joel and I attended an English-speaking Chinese church where two years prior we had spent a short season of ministry. As we walked through the church doors, we immediately felt welcomed by the love of this sweet assembly of Chinese believers. One particularly welcoming friend was Ruth. As I write this I can still hear the lilt of joy in her voice and feel the warm embrace of Ruth’s hug. It was this Sunday that I would begin to hear the beginning of Ruth’s story. Later I would email her and begin to connect-the-dots of a small part…
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Exposed to God’s Truth: Knowing Self
The Character Quality of Knowing Self: I expectantly eyed the bathroom mirror, keenly aware that this day would not only put another candle on an elaborately iced cake, but mark off another significant decade. With anticipation for the day ahead of me, I stopped to assess my reflection. Instantly, I was met by a rather dismal birthday pronouncement. The voice in my head spoke loud and clear. “I don’t like you!” In one quick instance, I had summed up four decades of my life. And with four short words, I had pronounced myself, lacking. Was I saying that I didn’t like how I looked? Or was I saying, that…
