-
Surprised by God: Chemotherapy Reflection Part Three
On January 06, 2023, I went for my third chemotherapy treatment. I have now made it halfway through! After a good appointment with the PA on the oncology team, I headed off to treatment. It was a full waiting room and took a while for me to get a space. All twenty-three rooms on my side of the hall were full, except for two, and one was to be mine. Making a Choice Due to technical issues, my treatment was delayed two hours. Joel and I realized this would be a very long and tiring day, with a three-hour drive home on top of treatment time. I had to pause…
-
God of All Comfort: Chemotherapy Reflections Part Two
This past week was the week of hair loss, hours of debilitating headaches, nausea, insomnia and the realization that I am on chemo. Yet this has also been the week of celebrating the joys of getting-to-do the mundane. Preparing a meal, creating an online shopping order, addressing Christmas cards, washing and folding a load of laundry, wrapping a Christmas gift, making annual cheese balls, dipping chocolate pretzels and making peppermint and almond bark. As the week continued to progress, the good began to outweigh the days of laying low. For this I have been grateful! Yet in the not so good days, I have found that during this holy season…
-
In Need Of The Miraculous: Chemotherapy Reflections Part One
This holy season my mind turns once again towards the birth of Jesus. The wonder. The mystery. The miraculous. How often do I allow this same Jesus to show up and make Himself known in my everyday life? And when he does show up, do I see Him and share the magnificence of what He has done? A week had passed since my first chemo treatment. To my amazement I mostly had energy and thankfully no nausea. To my dismay a molar crown fell out. After my recent tonsillectomy I noticed this crown was not seated properly and had most likely been loosened during my procedure. I…
-
Wasting Energy On What May Never Happen
The sun is shy, blinking its way through the rain-filled clouds. On days like this, I awake in a mood. I want to stay asleep instead of bounding out of bed with anticipation of what a new day will bring. I click on the white, year-round Christmas lights in my studio. An apparent need for extra light on this dismal summer morning. On my way for coffee, I click on the set above my dining room hutch. Some days just call for extra illumination. This is one of them. Rest Robbers How is it possible to wake up just as tired as you were when you went to bed eight…
-
Look to the Hills
The hills touch the sky. My eyes lift from the din of today’s circumstances. In my upward gaze I find solace and strength to face what lies in the valleys of my soul. Jesus is my soul keeper. He shepherds my soul well. I stand amazed at how Jesus knows what lies in the cracks and crevices of my soul. He knows what lurks behind the shadows; ever longing to rescue me from danger. He delights to meet me as I draw near to Him. He is ever present. Always willing to meet me where I am. Today, this is enough for me. He is enough. …
-
Prayer for Direction
Oh God, I want to know your ways. Lead me in your truth and teach me; for you are the God of my salvation. You chose me before the foundation of the world that I would walk in you. Make known your ways to me, O LORD. Illumine your path before me. Exchange my aimlessness with godly purpose. Show me the righteous way to walk. I need to know your path, for here my footsteps will be sure, steady and purposeful. God, I trust in you to lead me in the very best pathways for my life. I wait for you to guide me. Give me a patient…
-
The Tension of Art and Words
This past year in isolation, art became a daily rhythm of soul care for me. Little watercolor vignettes poured from paint and brush. This was something I didn’t know I could do; but there they were, teacups bursting with blossoms, flowers and leaves spilling from water pots, tea cups and mugs. Yet in the act of art, my words became pushed aside; revealing a season for new things where words were not present. The joy of creating art made my heart swell, while the lack of words was something new to me. I have always had words. This art journey was a surprise I was not expecting. This became troubling…
-
Letting Go of My Own Understanding
Limitations Lately I have been struggling with a body that seems trapped. I long for freedom of body and mind. To journey life by going after my passion, without the limitations of being physically and emotionally exhausted. To accomplish what I have been gifted to do, with out constraint. In the face of a medical procedure and Covid, I have been consistently fatigued in body and mind. I don’t know about you, but when I get physically fatigued, I often find my mind in turmoil. How easy it can spin out of control! Casting shadows of doubt on the One who I know loves me unconditionally, and the One who…
-
Despite Covid I Have Jesus!
It is day nine of Covid. There is not a creative thought in my head. I am weary. When there are no words to write, it is the Word of God that gives me hope. It is here among these pages of truth that God tells me that I am not alone. He is enough. It is here that I find rest, renewal of heart and mind; as the longing to be Christ-like rises to the surface and spills out upon my blank journaled page. Today, these words spill out as scriptural affirmation and a prayer to God. Right now because of Covid, my health has failed, and my spirit…
-
Stability in an unstable world
The offering of hope For many, this Christmas season has come with conflicting emotions. Past Christmas traditions have been snatched from us through this pandemic. A season of friend and family gatherings has left us wondering how to create community, despite continued distancing. In a world that may feel unstable, shifting and currently unreliable, we find ourselves looking for something steady and sure. We have grown tired of fake news. Our souls are longing for truth, for real news. The hope of redemption God’s great plan of redemption offers to all who will receive it, the gift of hope. As Christ followers our hope is planted upon the rock-solid foundation…
